646f9e108c Aussie adventurer Steve Irwin aka The Crocodile Hunter has avoided the death-roll and nabbed another feisty croc, hoping to save it from poachers. What Steve doesn't know is that the crocodile has innocently swallowed a top secret US satellite beacon, and the poachers are actually American special agents sent to retrieve it. Crikey! In the Outback and through the bush with his wife Terri's ever-present commentary ringing out over the countryside ("That was a close one, Steve!"), the Crocodile Hunter is out to save the gorgeous croc and relocate him. It won't be easy, but if he can handle bird-eating spiders and venomous snakes without getting bitten, gun-wielding agents shouldn't be too much of a problem. Aussie adventurer Steve Irwin - a.k.a. "The Crocodile Hunter" is out to save a gorgeous croc and relocate him. What The Steve doesn't know is that the Crocodile has innocently swallowed a top secret U.S. satellite beacon, and some CIA agents sent to retrieve it. Steve mistakes the CIA agents for poachers and sets out to stop them from capturing the Crocodile. Bad enough they have a TV show, but now they have a movie. If you don't want to waste your money, nor time, nor want to be bored out of your wits, don't see this movie! It totally sucks, and bad filming,because you see the camera men all the time. His glass for a scene moves, first it is on the left, then the next shot of him it is to the right.<br/><br/>I regreted seeing this movie, I just wanted to see who was really in it, and I will tell you some advice, DON'T SEE THIS STUPID MOVIE. Steve Irwin is a big loud-mouthed Ozzie. He habitually talks directly into the camera- about the next big cool thing he's going to do. About the next deadly beast he's gonna wrangle. And then he does it. In America we might call a person such as this a "good old boy", whilst laughing up our sleeves. This is just wrong. There are Americans who are just like good old Steve. Far too few. Some Americans like to fish around in a stream, looking for a big old catfish, in whose mouth a man might stick his entire forearm. This is called "noodling". The man then raises up the big-ass catfish and flops the catch onto the bank. This man I call a "man". Steve Irwin is completely brave. He is remarkable. He is a talented, but yet amateur actor. His wife the same. This movie is an extension of his TV show, where he routinely handles deadly creatures with great skill. I say: Good on him. All the creatures on this earth are blessed creatures. Mr Irwin demonstrates this clearly when he slams the brakes on the Landrover and stops to handle and then basically massage a highly venomous killer snake as if it were a family pet, 2 minutes into this uncut scene. This is really good for the soul of a man. The plot of this movie is extraneous-about CIA spies and NRO officials and a downed satellite that ends up in a crocodile's gullet. Steve Irwin and his wife are beautiful creatures who walk this earth with great skill and love. I love these people. I hope and pray I might someday be as fine as they seem to be. This is a family feature that just makes a man feel great to be alive. How do you describe a man like Irwin who asks his wife to " lie on top of the crocodile while I go ashore"? Or a wife who covers the eyes of a croc to help it stay calm? Perhaps I am naive. Go lie on top of a wild crocodile and report back to me. Postscript: Steve Irwin is now dead, as of yesterday circa 11am in the Great Barrier Reef. A stingray somehow found a way to stab Irwin right in the heart with its stinger. How odd is that? Mr Irwin and his cameraman perhaps surrounded the bull-ray in shallow water and the ray just struck out in self defense. Right in the heart. That is phenomenal. The guy who wrote Kitchen Confidential, Anthony Bourdain, speaks of the slaughter of a gigantic pig in Spain, attempted by four adult men, who were kicked in the testicles repeatedly by the putupon pig, in a very consistent manner. Coincidence? I don't think so. The assumption of people that animals are stupid-that they are plastic or malleable or stupid-or more importantly-that they have no theological/existential/metaphysical sense is perhaps a mistake of our human race. This sounds illogical. It sounds squishy and unfounded. It insults our intelligence. Such as it is. Human beings are a beautiful gift in themselves to the world. They cannot be correctly described in their brilliance and majesty and wonder. I suspect that we human beings have fallen short in our estimation of animals. We turn them into hamburger and gloves and lipstick- and yet we know nothing-in truth- about them. They are space-aliens to us, because we do not live in their skins. I submit Steve Irwin loved every gosh-darned animal he ever met. I cry over his death. Life is a ridiculous assertion. The downtimes are so flat that it makes you wonder whether director John Stainton and writer Holly Goldberg Sloan made them intentionally bad, just so we'd look forward to seeing Irwin again.
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327 weeks ago